Shame, Child, Small, Criticism

One thing a woman may find, in regards to her relationships, is that she has the tendency to be drawn to men who are not very pleasant. As a result of this, she could struggle to understand what’s happening.

Due to the experiences that she has had with a number of different guys, she might believe that she’s a victim. There are then going to be guys out there who wish to cause her harm and there will be absolutely nothing that she can do about it.

Two Sides

On one side, then, there’ll be the sort of man that she wants to be with, and, on the other, there’ll be the type of men who ends up with. It may seem as if she has no control over this area of her life.

She might believe that the only way her life will change is if she gets lucky and is able to meet a man who’s different. At exactly the exact same time, she may find that she has met men who were different but not been drawn to them.


If this occurs, her life will most likely continue to go down the exact same path.

If, on the other hand, she was to consider this, she could find it tough to comprehend why this takes place.

A Strong Pull

What she will find is that a man who doesn’t treat her well will be what has a strong effect on her. This is not to say that she’ll have positive thoughts running through her mind when she is with a man like this; what it means is that although her mind will experience resistance, her body will react differently.

Said another way, her head can tell her to leave but her body can want her to stay. The inner conflict within her will subsequently make it harder for her to cut her ties with a man in this way, causing her to remain in a relationship that’s not serving her.

The Experience

A man such as this could physically hurt her or he may verbally abuse her, which will make it difficult for her to feel good about herself.

This will then be a relationship that lacks any type of stability, consistency, love or respect. A relationship like this will cause her to suffer, which could mean that just about every other area of her life may also fall apart.

Something Is Not Right

If a woman like this was to talk her friends, she could end up being told that she just needs to end the relationship. They might even say that this is just what men are like, with this probably being a indication that their friends aren’t in a fantastic place either.

Walking away may get her from a poisonous situation, yet unless something changes, she could wind up in the same situation before long. The big question is: why does this keep occurring?

Deep Down

In order for her to find out why she has the inclination to end up with men who are abusive and to stay well away from the ones that aren’t, it will be essential for her to find to what’s occurring in her unconscious mind. If she was to concentrate only on her conscious mind, she’s unlikely to find the answers she needs.

This part of her can say that this is not what she wants and the resistance she has to being with an abusive man will be viewed as the proof. What she is likely to find, if she moves deeper into her being, is that being with an abusive man is what feels safe.

A Different Agenda

During this time period, it is going to be important for her to not get too attached to what her mind comes out with; when this takes place, it is going to make it harder for her to truly connect with what is occurring at a deeper level. Her mind could struggle to understand why this would be what feels safe, and this will come down to how the mind forgets what is has forgotten – it is merely a defence mechanism.

The main reason why this is what feels secure can be on account of what happened at during her early years.

Two Stages

What is familiar is classed as what’s secure to the subconscious mind.

So, as being treated in this way is what feels safe, it will be normal for her to be drawn to a man who will allow her to re-experience what took place all those years back and to play out the identical dramas. These experiences would have no doubt set her up to think that she was worthless, meaning that she’ll carry a fair amount of shame.


Another way of looking at this is to say that her unconscious mind is causing her to recreate her early experiences so that she can heal her pain and evolve. This is something that is called repetition compulsion.

The trouble is that unless she’s aware of what is going on, she won’t have the ability to use the information that is being given to her and to gradually transform her life. What can happen is that she will become bitter and wind up blaming all men.


If a woman can relate to this, and she would like to transform this area of her life, she might need to reach out for outside support. This is something which can be provided by the aid of a therapist or a healer.

The sort of man that she is drawn to will slowly change as her inner world changes. This is likely to be a time when she will be working though the trauma which is being held in her body and mind.

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